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Chicken Prediction: O Bother

Posted on August 30, 2023August 30, 2023 by Louis de Ludovico

Gentle reader, our beloved El FC are playing badly right now. Not down bad. Just plain bad.

How do we turn this around? This helps not in the least:

67' | Red card issued to Dani Pereira. Austin FC will play a man down for the remainder of the match.

FC Dallas 0-0 #AustinFC

— Austin FC (@AustinFC) August 27, 2023
Our intrepid, and woefully underappreciated, Phil West also reports that other valuable players won’t be at 100%.

But, if we’re being honest, just having these two somewhat available is good news.

It difficult to try and be even somewhat optimistic. We here at the compound do our best to elevate spirits, but not even Uncle Tony P.’s fire eating seems to lift our moods.

In a vain exercise, I took a stroll about the crunchy and arid grounds of the compound. Whilst perambulating up a gentle slope, I unconsciously began to sing a song that has historically brought me joy:

Sounds. Sounds? Sounders! Our beloved, yet disappointed in, El FC take on the vaunted Sounders next. Hope swelled within my soul like so much nun-sense. I called out to San Julius, petitioning her presence. She dutifully complied. For, you see, I know my hens and they know me.

I promptly scattered some ethically sourced, pelleted feed and observed.

She sighed.

Took two bites to the left and one to the right.

Oh bother.

El FC 1-2 Weather I Can Only Dream Of

Louis de Ludovico

Viewing McKalla as his personal empire, Louis lives for the beautiful game. And food. Especially flamingo tongues. A chicken savant.

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