Know Your Team!
There are a lot of new faces around Austin FC this year and a lot of players from previous seasons we think we know, but don’t. Your friends at The False Nine have you covered! Each week we’ll bring you hard-hitting inside information so you can get to know each of our beloved squad members even more deeply.
This week’s subject is…..Guilherme Biro!
Biography:
Ace fashionista Guilherme Biro was born Guilherme da Trindade Dubas in Curitiba, Brasil on the 1st of May, 2000 – the 672nd anniversary of England recognizing Scotland as an independent nation (our history aficionados may notice this hasn’t lasted, like most promises from the English) and three years before George W. Bush declared “Mission Accomplished”. Biro was born to a family of acrobats and trapezists dubbed “The Flying Dubasae….Dubases….Dubasipodes”. It was one of those, the banner I found on google images is hard to read.
Anyway, during a performance one fateful evening some ne’er-do-wells tried to bribe his parents to steal from the head of the circus, when they refused the rapscallions cut their trapeze wires and fell to their doom. A now orphaned Guilherme was despondent until being taken up by a masked vigilante who taught him about being a two footed wingback with the ability to invert as his super power. I guess the vigilante fought crime too, why not.
Previous Club(s):
Coritiba – Biro’s hometown club, they’re well known for their ghostlike tendency to drift beyond defenders and pop up as an apparition to score goals out of nowhere in keeping with Curitiba’s nickname as the “City of Eternal Fog”. Guilherme was part of a Coritiba team that won the 2022 Campeonato Paranaense, including a big win in the semifinals against crosstown rivals and city giant Atletico Paranaense. Without getting into details about the incredibly complex Brasilian soccer structure, rest assured this was a huge deal.
Mirassol – Biro played one season for Mirassol, a club that rose from Brasilian Serie D to Brasilian Serie A in only 5 years, with Guilherme playing on the 2023 Serie B squad. Mirassol have one non-Brasilian player, a South Korean simply called “Chico”.
Interests:
- FCito
- Being handsome
- Not making disgusting challenges
- Sweet, sweet vengeance
- Not being 20 or playing for Corinthians/Sharjah
Fun Facts:
- Can do really cool yo-yo tricks
- Loves to skateboard but looks down on people who longboard (looking at you Freddy Kleeman)
- Cost 0 GAM
- Is pretty sure Valentine’s Day was invented by Hallmark
- Owns a Gaucho Sheepdog named Truffle Nubbins
- Uses avocado oil to style his facial hair