I’m tired y’all. I’m tired of WolffIn/WolffOut. I’m tired of watching Austin FC players make bonehead mistake after bonehead mistake. I’m tired of being asked to pay the equivalent of a mortgage for a beer at Q2 Stadium. It’s all just so exhausting with seemingly no reward on the other side.
WAIT. IT CAN’T BE! THAT’S OSMAN BUKARI’S MUSIC! AND HE’S GOT MIKKEL DESLER WITH HIM! BAH GAWD THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR CLUB.
It’s the final game before the tournament that shall not be named gets underway. Austin has 10 matches left in the MLS regular season and all 10 are against team currently above the playoff line. Points will be hard to come by and if ATX has any hope of making Decision Day interesting, wins at home are a must. But some help from the rest of the league wouldn’t hurt either.
A reminder: This is the MLS Cheering Guide. I rate games on a scale of 1-5. 1 meaning it has no meaning for Austin’s playoff chances and 5 meaning it’s a huge match that directly affects ATXFC.
Games to Watch in the Background
None of these matches matter for Austin’s playoff chances. Watch if you want. All games are Saturday, July 20th.
Philadelphia Union vs Nashville SC – 6:30 p.m.
NY Red Bulls vs FC Cincinnati – 6:30 p.m.
CF Montreal vs Toronto FC – 6:30 p.m.
Inter Miami vs Chicago Fire – 6:30 p.m.
Atlanta United vs Columbus Crew – 6:30 p.m.
Orlando City vs NYCFC – 6:30 p.m.
Sporting KC vs St Louis CITY – 7:30 p.m.
Colorado Rapids vs Real Salt Lake – 8:30 p.m.
Games That Matter
New England Revolution vs FC Dallas – 6:30 p.m.
After winning Copa Tejas and goading Sebastian Driussi into a deserved red card Wednesday, Frisco is now just one point behind Verde. The Revs have lost three straight but seem to play better at home. We need the help here from our Eastern Conference friends.
ATX Impact Score: 5
Minnesota United vs San Jose Earthquakes – 7:30 p.m.
The Loons and Austin have identical records heading into the weekend. Minnesota stays above Austin thanks to goal differential (-3 vs -9). Meanwhile the Quakes are prepping recipes to cook with their new Wooden Spoon that should arrive in October. We need a classic San Jose chaos miracle here.
ATX Impact Score: 5
Vancouver Whitecaps vs Houston Dynamo – 9:30 p.m.
The Dynamo are four points ahead of Verde and have a game in-hand. Luckily for us, Vancouver is a good team and they play well at home. Night cap with a Caps win, you say?
ATX Impact Score: 4
Seattle Sounders vs LAFC – 9:30 p.m.
LA Galaxy vs Portland – 9:30 p.m.
I’m putting these games together because we need the same result from each match: an L.A. win. Both Seattle and Portland have created a small gap between themselves and Austin, but it’s one that can be wiped away in a couple of matches with the right results. An ATX win coupled with a loss by either team closes that gap some and Austin needs the bottom 4 spots in the playoff ladder to be a jumbled mess for as long as possible.
ATX Impact Score: 3
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.