MLS Cheering Guide – Match Day 14

It’s time for your weekly dose of MLS!  The league has wisely decided to avoid scheduling any games for Saturday afternoon so that we can all enjoy the Fake Champions League Final (CLL for life!), meaning we have a Golden Corral style buffet of games for Saturday night to enjoy without the stress of an ATXFC match until Sunday.  So let’s figure out who we’re cheering for this week!

Games That Make You Go Meh

• New York Red Bulls vs D.C. United – Saturday @ 6:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
• Toronto FC vs Chicago Fire – Saturday @ 6:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
• Atlanta United vs Columbus Crew – Saturday @ 6:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
• Club de Foot Montréal vs FC Cincinnati – Saturday @ 6:30 p.m. (ESPN+)
• New England Revolution vs Philadelphia Union – Saturday @ 6:30 p.m. (ESPN+)
• Inter Miami FC vs Portland Timbers – Saturday @ 7:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
• Sporting KC vs Vancouver Whitecaps – Saturday @ 8:00 p.m. (ESPN+)

Games That Actually Matter

LAFC vs San Jose Earthquakes – Saturday @ 5:00 p.m. (UniMas/TUDN/Twitter)
Both of these teams are coming off of mid-week losses in the U.S. Open Cup and should be a little leg weary.  We would love for the Quakes to steal some points on the road however unlikely that may be, seeing as LAFC has only lost eight regular season MLS home games…..ever.   But an LAFC draw coupled with an Austin win means the Verde are back in first.  Let’s go Silicon Valley!
The Side: San Jose Earthquakes 2.0
ATXFC Impact Watch Scale: 5

Orlando City vs FC Dallas – Saturday @ 6:30 p.m. (ESPN+)
After last week’s shenanigans, our collective disdain for Orlando has ratcheted way, way up.  THEY KICKED ALEX RING IN THE CAJONES! 

Alas, we must put those feelings aside for the greater good as Orlando hosts FC Dallas.  The Lions haven’t been particularly good at home and are probably going to have to field half of their youth academy team after all of the red cards served to them at Q2, but here’s hoping they can pull some points out of this anyway.
The Side: Reluctantly, Orlando
ATXFC Impact Watch Scale: 4

Minnesota United vs NYCFC – Saturday @ 7:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
I have no idea what to make of the Loons.  Last week they went to Frisco and became the first team this season to beat FCD at home.  Then Minnesota went back home for a mid-week Open Cup match against third division side Union Omaha and lost, all while starting two DPs.  Basically, the Loons are maddeningly inconsistent and that’s probably why they are fighting for the final playoff spot right now.  NYCFC is one of the best XI in the league.  And while I’m rooting for them, I fully expect Minnesota to do something stupid and win this game.
The Side: NYCFC
ATXFC Impact Watch Scale: 2

Colorado Rapids vs Nashville SC – Saturday @ 8:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
Since the start of 2021, the Rapids have lost exactly one regular season MLS home game.  In case you forgot, this was the one:

To underscore this home/road split even more, 17 of Colorado’s 18 points this year have come at home.  Now they get to host a surging Nashville club that finds itself just above the playoff line for now, but only by a point.  The best long-term result for ATXFC is that they both drop points.
The Side: A draw
ATXFC Impact Watch Scale: 3

Real Salt Lake vs Houston Dynamo – Saturday @ 8:30 p.m. (ESPN+)
My heart says “Fuck you Houston”, but my head knows better.  RSL continue to be an annoyingly dangerous team, proving once again last week that they will finds ways to win by clipping a strong Club de Foot on the road.  Real sits just two points behind the Verde in the table and some breathing room would be nice.  But that doesn’t mean I want Houston to win either.
The Side: A draw with lots and lots of red cards
ATXFC Impact Watch Scale: 3.5

Seattle Sounders vs FC Charlotte – Sunday @ 8:30 p.m. (FS1)
FC Charlotte, welcome to MLS After Dark!  Step-by-Step, the new kids on the block are getting better each week.

I regret nothing.

Now Charlotte goes across the country to face the only club recognized worldwide as the true Champions League title winners, a squad that is still struggling to find its footing in the MLS standings.  Seattle is currently 12^th in the West and five points out of the playoffs.  Now I firmly believe they will qualify easily by the end of the season, but the longer Seattle stays down, the better it is for everyone else.
The Side: Queen City FC
ATXFC Impact Scale: 2