Oh hello there, fellow fan of FIRST FUCKIN’ PLACE AUSTIN FC! I’m assuming we’ve all been channeling our inner Ricky Bobby since Wednesday night:
But it’s time to turn the page quickly because Austin FC has gone from hunter to hunted. The rest of the league will be cheering for our downfall, so we let’s take some time to figure out whose demise we are rooting for this weekend.
Games That Make You Go Meh
D.C. United vs Toronto FC – Saturday @ 5:30 p.m. (ESPN+)
FC Cincinnati vs New England Revolution – Saturday @ 5:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
Charlotte FC vs Vancouver Whitecaps – Sunday @ 4:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
NYCFC vs Chicago Fire – Sunday @ 4:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
Inter Miami FC vs New York Red Bulls – Sunday @ 5:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
San Jose Earthquakes vs Sporting Kansas City – Sunday @ 6:30 p.m. (ESPN+)
Games That Matter
Columbus Crew vs LAFC – Saturday @ 2:30 p.m. (Unimas/TUDN/Twitter)
Ugh. You all know how much I hate rooting for good things to happen to Columbus. But the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Even though Austin is on top of LAFC thanks to goal differential, the two teams are still tied on points. We need to start creating some distance when possible.
The Side: Columbus Crew
ATX Impact Watch Scale: 4.5
Nashville SC vs Atlanta United – Saturday @ 6:30 p.m. (FOX)
This will be the Coyotes’ fifth home game in their new digs and the second one already against Atlanta United. These two teams played a banger of a game 10 days ago in the U.S. Open Cup, where the Five Stripes got off to a 2-0 lead before losing 3-2 in extra time. Here’s hoping for more of the same on national TV, but with a different outcome. Plus, ATL has their own team pup!
The Side: Atlanta United
ATX Impact Watch Scale: 3.5
Club de Foot Montréal vs Real Salt Lake – Sunday @ 3:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
The team formerly known as the Impact had a nine-game unbeaten streak snapped Wednesday night in Nashville and fell back to 3rd in a tightly packed Eastern Conference. Now they go back home to face a rested RSL squad who hasn’t played since Pro refs gifted them a man advantage last week (no, I’m not over it). RSL is just four points back of Austin, so a cross-conference loss would be wonderful.
The Side: Montréal
ATX Impact Watch Scale: 3
FC Dallas vs Minnesota United – Sunday @ 6:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
Frisco went to Vancouver on Wednesday and blew a 1-0 lead to the worst team in MLS. Excuse me for a second……
Now they come back home and must face a beguiling Loons team. This is a club that really doesn’t know what it wants to be from week to week, but we’re cheering for them anyway!
The Side: Cue Wonderwall
ATX Impact Watch Scale: 4
Colorado Rapids vs Seattle Sounders – Sunday @ 7:00 p.m. (ESPN+)
Remember how I said Seattle is coming? Yeah, that’s starting to happen. The Sounders are two points out of a playoff spot with two games in hand. The team that currently occupies that final playoff position is Colorado, who somehow pulled out a win against LAFC last week despite a having less than 48 hours of rest. The best thing for ATX here is that both teams drop points.
The Side: A draw
ATX Impact Watch Scale: 2.5
Portland Timbers vs Philadelphia Union – Sunday @ 9:00 p.m. (FS1)
MLS After Dark between a really good team and another that is wickedly entertaining? Sign me up! Portland makes zero sense from game-to-game, but they are a whole lot of fun to watch. Meanwhile Jim Curtain’s side continues to be consistently excellent and a favorite to win the Eastern Conference. This one should be fun, but we’ll be rooting for Philly to take some points back East with them.
The Side: Philadelphia Union
ATX Impact Watch Scale: 2
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.