Gettin’ Batty With It

Gentle reader, it’s been a challenging time. Firstly, as you all well know, my beloved hens departed this corporeal existence. Thanks to Chucky for filling in for me last week as I took some time to grieve. You know, in order to help others, you must help yourself first.

As we all know, our beloved El FC lost last round. I blame myself. But, I know this isn’t healthy and I should always remind myself:

So, evidently our boys in green take on Colorado this weekend. I went out to the bat house Chucky had installed and took a peek.

Yes, Batty White was indeed inside, living her best life. If memory serves, she was happily gnawing on some piece of fruit.

Gentle reader, it’s challenging to move on from my dear, beautiful hens to a bat. As Catullus tells us:

Difficile est longum subitō dēpōnere amōrem

It is difficult, but must be done.

I turned to Batty White and she looked at me with the most beautiful bat eyes you’ve ever seen. Gentle reader, I was hooked. While I might never have my beloved hens again, I have permission to love again. And, I’m chuffed to say, Batty seemed to love me.

I fell back onto my augural training. Yes, it was poultry-centric, but some things are universal. I turned to my beloved bat, scattered some fruit, and waited. And waited. This was new to me. I didn’t know what to expect.

Suddenly, the bat flew from her box and chomped on the fruit. Batty White looked at me and I at her. Our chakras aligned. Then, I was hit by some sort of pulse. I didn’t know what to think. It finally occurred to me: it was an echo location pulse.

I turned to her and said, “Tell me, beautiful, what do you see.”

One wave hit me and then silence. Absolute silence.

Yes. I understand.

El FC 1-0 Legal Weed.